April 21-28, 2023

EDITORS NOTE:  The following is a rambling-on summary of events.  There is no rhyme or reason to its flow, just what was recalled at the time of going to press.  BLUE commentary was added a few days later.

Well, we did it again.  We sailed off with the Cruisin’ Greene’s of NH, this time to Bermuda.

Lets see, we had Josie, Mike, Anne, Erik, Bob, Ellen, Tim and Judy.  (And we made it back with all eight).

We started off on Friday the 21^st and met on the ship, the Norwegian Cruise Line’s Pearl, at one of the many restaurants.  Well, Anne and Erik got off to a rough start… you see, Anne left her passport in the house.  So we had to turn around and look for it.  Fortunately we weren’t that far away.

Lunch was great, the company was even better as we immediately shared a whole bunch of laughs.

Rooms were tight, but functional.  Just enough to keep us happy.  Most of us had a balcony and were together along the outer side.  There was one exception, tho.  There was a group of kids between Mike and Josies room and Tim and Ellens room that were not adult supervised… and they kept up the noise all night long… jumping on beds, banging on walls, screaming bloody murder.  That is until Josie made the call.

She phoned the front desk to which they came up and knocked on the kids door to tell them to keep it down.  Well, that didn’t work.  So another call to the front brought up the cruise cops.  Now this musta done the trick as they settled down for the remainder of the night.  Whew.

Speaking of Josie, she bought us these GREAT travel mugs... Awesome and THANK YOU!

Oh, I should mention here that Bob, once again, had an issue with his  luggage.  Seems that the luggage tag that they had us print at home fell off his bag and he had to go to the front desk and lost and found to claim his lost luggage.  Oh, Bob.

Now the next day we met at the breakfast buffet.  Wow, there was a lot of food.  And just about anything you ever wanted to eat.  So, we pigged out.

Washy-washy.  Happy-happy.    (We were greeted with this sayiing at every buffet meal... funny at first, annoying after awhile)

Later in the day we sat by the pool only to hear that there was a men’s sexy leg contest.  Yup.  So, as a trooper, Erik was egged on to show off his legs.  (not that they were anything special).  But EJ had a couple of tricks up his sleeve.  He said he would do it if he had the nerve to strip down to his tighty whiteys and go from there.  He thought that this would possibly do the trick and put him over the top of the other contestants.  But, they weren’t tighty whiteys.  They were cat printed tighty’s… which (again, he thought) might get the crowd going and win the extra vote.  He also thought that if he gave each (volunteer) women judges $5, that this would also guarantee him the victory.  Uh, nope.

So, he convinced himself to go up there, get in line (as the last contestant) and give it a go.

As he was introduced as Uncle Buck, he told the MC that “this was for all the pet lovers out there” and then proceeded to strip down to his tighty cattys.  Yup, the crowd went wild.  So he proceeded to do his (limited) dance over to the judges and give each of them $5 before he continued his “performance”.

They loved it.

Well, obviously not loving it enough as another contestant won.  Asked afterwards about the event, EJ responded “it was fixed.  They went for the younger guy, and I feel discriminated against.  Plus, I want my $5 back from each judge”.   Well, that didn’t happen and we all went on our merry way.

On the way out, in the “walk of shame” EJ stopped for a couple of autographs from his fans, and was reminded that he was truly the winner. 

Anyway, we continued out cruise to Bermuda… with card playing and wandering around the ship and just hanging out by the pool and the decks above the pool.

Later we grabbed some lunch, only to hear that one of us had grabbed a 2nd lunch… Judy.  What?  Cheating on us?  So, from then on she was called “Judy 2-Lunch”.  Here is Judy explaining the size of the “2nd” lunch.

Oh, we should mention that throughout the ship and mostly at every lunch and dinner, Mike was shut out from getting his Mic-Ultra.  Yup.  They “ran out” (?)   What?  Really?

Oh, I should mention that while playing cards, Ellen was constantly “cross-talking” to her partner as to what and how to play.  Yup.

During breakfast, I believe it was on Saturday, Bob and Erik grabbed a table and sat with another couple from Boston.  Actually one grew up in Braintree and the other in Scituate.  They now live in Weymouth.  Come to find out, they have a young relative now living in Braintree… right behind Bob’s old house, now where his son lives.  Yup, and come to find out that his son and this neighbor do not get along that well.  (Never did find out why, but we did not share this info to them).

Anyway, just goes to show you that it’s a small world.

Moving on… oh, we should note that Mike reminds us that at dinner we can order as much as we want… and we did.  Thanks Mike.  Good to know.  No, GREAT to know.

Now, lets go see Bob swim in the salt-water pool.

So, the guys (and sometimes were joined by Ellen) played Pitch, a card game that you can play with partners.  Problem was that the only cards that were brought were the ones Erik had, and were literally the smallest deck you could ever find.  Nonetheless, they worked.  And should I mention here that Ellen, on occasion, cross-talked to her partner.  Uh, not allowed Miss.

So, we thought we could possibly find some cards in the library, which also doubled as the game room.  Nope, seems that all the “cards” disappeared and there were none to be found… or was there?

We saw that another family were playing with regular sized cards and thought that if we could swap them for our smaller deck of cards, that it might be a win-win.  You see, they were playing with a couple of kids and we thought that the kids would love to swap out from the larger deck.

So, we asked Ellen to go over there and do the deed.  (while the guys chickened out and waited for her outside in the hall).  Well, Ellen came out and despite our happiness in seeing that she may have succeeded in swapping decks, she tells us the kids loved the smaller deck so she gave it to them.  AND NOT IN EXCHANGE FOR THE LARGER DECK.  What?  Now, we are out of luck with NO cards.

Ellen went on to say that the kids loved the smaller deck but the husband didn’t want to give up his larger deck of cards, so Ellen didn’t want to make the kids upset so she gave them ours.

Well, that didn’t sit well with the guys in the hall.  So we told/asked Ellen to go back in there and retrieve our smaller deck of cards away from the kids.  I hear the kids were upset as a result.

Oh well, the guys (who were still in the hall, now laughing) and Ellen were happy and we went on our way.

Not sure, but I think we retreated to the ice cream bar at this point.  Yup, open all day long.

Erik reports that the soft serve ice cream was so cold, that he got brain freeze right away.  No report that it was due to his over indulging. 

Later on, the guys met on the pool deck and reminisced over some pizza.

Naps?  Yup, it was reported that Mike, once again, led the troops in the number of naps on the trip.  I believed he averaged 2/day.

Hey, good for him.

Y’know, although its great to get away (from hustle and bustle of everyday affars), its also healthy to “get away” from your significant other, once in a while.  So, as Anne was getting her steps in EJ sat by the pool and did his Soduku.  Only to realize that it was not only getting very crowded, by over run and loud due to all the kids around.  So, he wandered up 2 decks to a nice relaxing and somewhat smaller location (about 20 people) where he took possession of a chaise lounge and did his thing. 

About 45 minutes later he gets a text from Anne asking where he was.  And, before he could reply, she heard the text come in on my phone and literally turned around in her chair and yelled out my name.  She was only 15 feet away from me and I/we didn’t notice until the text came in.  Small world, smaller boat.

Dinners at 5:30 were great.  That is, if you weren’t in a rush.  For the most part they were timely, but on a couple of occasions, they took forever.  I guess they thought we were on vacation or something and that we really didn’t have anywhere to go.  Nonetheless, we got the best of them by ordering 2 of everything.  I mean 2 Appetizers, 2 Entrees (they were small) and 2 (obviously) desserts.  That’ll show ‘em.

Saturday.
Dinner tonight was at the Steak house.  Great meat.  Better desserts.  Good Friends, still.

Wifi?  You would think that after all these cruises, the ship would  have a simple procedure in place to show how to connect with their wifi.  Nope.
I think they made this complicated so that they could force you to “upgrade” your wifi with their own package... a couple of hundred bucks more.  Bastards.

38.  Come to find out that Ellen and Judy, as their jobs back home involve working in a school cafeteria, have come up with a way to identify the troubled/asshole/jerk kids by calling out 38.  You see, the number 3 on a telephone key represents the letter “F” and the 8 represents “U”.  So whenever they come across one of these kids, they yell out “38”, in essence “FU”.

Pretty funny.

Oh, did anyone take Josie up on her 7:30am Legs and Abs workout?   Didn’t think so.  She not only was a trooper and joined this group daily, but also spent a lot of time in the gym working out... at least thats what someone told me.

Oh, Sunday was Judy’s 65th birthday. 

Dinner on Sunday we had a cake for Judy.  Actually we had it on Monday at the Italian Restaurant.  Very good meal.

I guess the cake was good, but the fellas didn’t get a chance to taste it… you see Timmy jumped the shark and grabbed the cake (and its strawberry topping) and proceeded to take his “piece” along with his other 2 desserts he ordered, PLUS the one Ellen gave him.  Yup, Timmy quad-dessert. 

But wait.  We then proceeded to the ice cream bar to which Tim was bagged by Ellen scarfing down another dessert to bring his new nickname to Cinco dessert Timmy.  Yup, that’s a record.  (previously held by the other guys at 3).

Ok, back to the pool deck.

Josie and the gals finally had a chance to get in to one of the many hot tubs on deck.. which were monopolized by the kids all-day-long, everyday.  Only to hear one of the kids challenge Josie about this being a “kids hot tub”.  Well, that set her off.  She replied that it wasn’t and that she (the kid) was not allowed to be in here with out supervision.  The kid ran off and said she was going to get her mother.  Well, that never happened and our girls had the tub to themselves, for once.

Yeah.  We’ll take the victory.

Washy-washy.  Happy-happy. 

So, Monday Erik, Anne, Josie and Mike set off on their bike rentals.  Started off bad as one of Erik’s bike tires was going flat, so we had to call the guy back after ¼ mile or so.

So, now we are off and running.  We decided to go off the beaten path a bit to see some of the Bermuda neighborhoods that you typically wouldn’t see and got some beautiful pictures.

Then we proceeded to try to find the “rail trail” that would get us off the main roads and into a bit calmer, easier paced ride.  We didn’t have such luck and spent a lot of time on these extremely narrow Bermudian roads.

We didn’t really have too much trouble with this but it did seem a bit dangerous.  Never mind the fact that we had to ride on the opposite,  left hand side of the road.

Anyway, we bumped into a British couple who seemed to know where they were going and followed them for awhile.  They got us onto the rail trails… only to find out that in some areas we had to get off the bikes and walk them up and sometimes down the trails… there were steps up and down as well as a lot of tree roots to avoid.

Anyway, we made our way over to Horseshoe Bay beach to which we took a 45 minute break on the sand.  Erik jumped into the ocean.

After this, we got back on our bikes to try to find our way back to the Dockyard, hoping via the rail trails.

Nope, we spent some time on the roads again, but did find the trails for a bit which took us through some beautiful woods on paved paths.  We stopped by the “smallest drawbridge in the world” for a break and then got back on the bikes back to the ship.

While we were biking, Judy and Ellen spent time on the ship and then a bus ride over to Horseshoe Bay beach while Tim and Bob took a bus tour around the island.

We met for dinner later that night at the Italian restaurant.

Tuesday.

Erik went ahead and rented a pontoon boat for the group which we thought we would take a trip around the island, stopping for quick swims and perhaps some snorkling.  Well…

So we got on the boat.  Got the instructions as to how to drive and to where we could and could not travel.

Mike drove for a bit, and got us out of the Dockyard and into the ocean for a wide ride on the outer Bermuda side.

We were informed that there were “brown spots” in the ocean which represented shallow coral reefs which we should avoid.  Yup, there were plenty.  We spent a lot of time navigating around these reefs but for the most part, enjoyed ourselves together as we cruised around the island.

Below isn’t one of the brown spots, but an actual ship wreck!  (come to find out it was “sunk” intentionally by the Bermuda Coaat Guard to warm boaters about the low lying area... and to create another place for tourists to visit.

We stopped a couple of times to see if anyone wanted to jump off and swim or snorkel.  The guys swam a bit, but the gals did not as we suspected they felt the water was too cool.  It was, but we got used to it after awhile.

Oh, we rented Styrofoam noodles for everyone so that they could feel safe while in the ocean.

Should mention that the boat did have a bathroom, although a bit tight.  Sure enough, Bob had to test it out, only to NOT fit in the room and was only able to get 75% of his body hidden, while his neck and head was above the room as he did his “business”. 

The sea was rough that day my friend (to quote a Seinfeld episode).

Should note that Tim jumped in for a swim but immediately returned to the deck as he struggled among the waves.  He cut his leg a bit getting back into the boat only to have Nurse Judy tend to his wounds and to make things better.  The sea was choppy, and kinda sorta difficult to swim/stay afloat.

Yeah for Judy.   (Tim called his misfortune a “shark-attack”).

Here is Bob wading around...

Yup, the waves were choppy and the boat was not only taking on water, but Mike and Anne, who braved the elements by sitting up front and consistently getting doused by the waves as the boat swayed up and down.  Yup, they got wet big time.

Anyway, I happen to notice the left hand side of the boat was lower than the right but didn’t think there was much we could do, unless we asked the passengers to sit on the right hand side to possibly even things out.  We did, and it didn’t.

It wasn’t until late in the journey that I noticed buttons for the pumps… so I turned them on and it seemed to work… that is until the Bermuda Coast Guard was called to see if we needed help.  Mike tells me that the “instructor” told us that we did not need to put the pumps on.  Yeah, good call.

Yup.  It seemed that another boat had called in the troops to make sure we Americans on Vacation knew what we were doing.  We didn’t.  The Coast Guard rushed out to us and pulled alongside and asked if we were ok, and whether or not we wanted to send a couple of our passengers over to them for the ride back.  Well, we said no and that we felt were ok and that we were close enough to limp back ourselves.

He said that he would follow us back to make sure we were ok.  And he did, at a snails pace as we limbered back home.   It wasn’t until we made it into the bay, under the Somerset Bridge that he waved us off only to radio to another boat to follow us into port.  Yup. 

So, we made it back and were met by the same Coast Guard personnel to make sure we were ok and got some information from us for his report and for the Bermudian newspaper. 

Ok.  So much for renting boats.  Although everyone said they had fun.

No truth to the rumor that Judy tried to get contact information from any of the Coast Guard staff.  Editor’s Note: We located the Bermudian Coast Guard number:  1-800-DATE-A-GUARD.

Here’s the story in the Royal Gazette...

Well, that is until Tuesday evening where we took a glass bottom boat tour with rum swizzles to the Bermuda Triangle… well to the very tip of the triangle.

This tour was pretty good as we were able to see the coral reefs and fish through the glass bottom as well as a local shipwreck.  The tour was about 90 minutes and went pretty well.

Rum Swizzles were the drink of the moment.

Not sure which day, but the only restaurant on board that was open 24 hours, was the Irish pub.  So, we hit this a couple of times hoping to eat some Shepards Pie and Guinness beer…. But, nope.  They didn’t serve either.  Really?  An Irish bar without Shepards Pie and Guinness?  BS.

So we ordered appetizers and the main meal.  Mikey, in his Bostonian accent, ordered chicken wings for an appetizer and also ordered chilli (which we thought was the meat chilli dish).  What he got was 2 orders of chicken wings, one mild and one with crushed hot chilli pepper.   Really?  So we had leftover chicken wings, and yes, Mike got his chilli bowl.

So, we ate there anyway.  Food was good, but once again, Mike was shut out after asking for Michelob Ultra.  Geez. 

Well, wait.  We did notice Mic-Ultra empty bottle behind us and Bob tells us that the waiter just delivered Mic Ultra to the table next to us… so once again, we summoned the waiter over and pointed out that we wanted (for Mike) Mic Ultra.   The waiter said yes, they have this.

Ugh.  So, after 15 minutes or so, Mike had 6 Mic Ultras in his possession.  Happy Mike, happy Life.

We knew there was something odd.  Thanks Bob.

After the meal, most of us went back to our rooms while I believe a couple of the gals went to get Tea.  We took the elevator to our floor only to board with another group of vacationers that had a bit too much to drink… well, at least one of them.  (and it seemed as tho she was below the drinking age… not that we’ve done this).

Anyway, I mentioned to Tim to ask me about the birthday song with “L’s” in it.  So he does… “Hey Erik, how many L’s in the song Happy Birthday?”.  To which I reply, “I’m not sure”.  Tim Says “37”, and proceeds to sing “La-La-La, La-La…”

Well this set off a tremendous amount of laughter in the elevator, including and especially this drunk girl who could stop laughing and doubling over.  It was really funny to see.  THEN, while laughing, she begins to snort…. This just got us all really laughing.   I yelled out “we got a snorter!”  and the entire ride to our floor had us all in stiches.  

Ahhh.  Fun times.

Washy-washy.  Happy-happy.

Moving on...

Mike and Josie picked up a week long spa package and truly got their moneys worth… well until one day Mike was finishing up his heated stone nap, and couldn’t help but notice that in one of the small hot tubs (that really only fit 1 person), was occupied by 2 males.  Yuck.  Mike just closed his eyes and left.

Tim, on the other hand, also visited the spa one day and reported that he too saw quite a few men (not sure if they were naked or not) but Tim claimed that they were eyeing him and thought they were coming up to him for some reason and rather than being confronted in an awkward situation, quickly made an exit.  Later, in explaining this situation to all of us he claimed that these 2 guys were “chubby chasers”.

Funny.

To which we immediately associated Ellen, his wife, as the only chubby chaser in Tims world.

Next...

The Origami Tulip class was a disaster.  Erik and Anne attended this class to see what it was all about and perhaps see what can be made from a dollar bill.

First mistake.

We get there and the MC tells us (about 200 in attendance) that we should have one of these origami papers (est 4” x 4”) for the class.  Wait?  Not dollar bills?

So the MC says she brought about 50 sheets of paper for us to use (remember, there was about 200 people in attendance), to which we all rushed the stage to claim our sheets.  I picked up 3, one for me, one for Anne and one for the lady next to us).

Well, most of the people in attendance did not have any paper to work with. 

Then the instructor puts up this diagram, about 200’ away, for us to follow.  Ok, we thought she would do a show and tell and show us how to fold and make the origami tulip. 

Nope.

She said to follow the diagram which was not only too far away, but terribly explained, and that she would walk around to see how we were doing.  Really?  You aren’t going to show and tell us right next to the diagram… nope.  She sucked.  And more importantly as she walked around, she did not have the microphone with her.  She sucked.

So, I over heard this kid next to our table say he (or she, not sure) had done this before and he proceeded to show his table how it was done.  Well, I motioned over to him to come over to our table to show us how to do it and after he did, I gave him $5 for his effort.

She still sucked.

Moving on to our last meal, at the 5:30pm restaurant (I forgot its name), we had another large and good dinner, only to have Judy go up to the waiter afterwards on our way out (we had the same wait staff every day) and said goodbye to him.  To which he replied “I’m gonna miss you Ice-Lady”.  Seems that Judy had always requested a glass of ice from him at each meal and he remembered.  Sweet.

Departure morning Anne and I met Mike and Josie for breakfast.  Typical menu, but Mike (in his Bostonian accent again) ordered a Cinnamon bagel.  But what he got was Salmon on top of a bagel.  Really?  So we had Salmon bagel leftovers.

Here is a sunrise photo that Anne took entering Boston Harbor on the return.

So, once again the Cruisin’ Greene’s put together a GREAT getaway!  Thank you Mike and Josie and thanks to all our friends for a wonderful and memorable trip.

We are all very much looking forward to the next one!

Hope you enjoy the pictures!